Top 7 "Healthy" Junk Foods and Sneaky Marketing Scams
Shopping healthy shouldn't be this complicated!
Let’s talk about the biggest scam in the food industry—products masquerading as "healthy" when they’re really just junk food in a fancy wrapper. It’s infuriating how clever marketing easily tricks people into thinking they’re making good choices when, in reality, we’re being fed ultra-processed garbage loaded with toxins.
My first wake-up call was over 20 years ago when I put my son on a gluten-free, dairy-free, corn-free and soy-free diet.
I went grocery shopping and was forced to read every package’s ingredient list. I have to say I was shocked.
"WTF is this stuff?" I wondered. I went home that day with 2 small bags for my family of 5 after shopping for 3 hours!
It’s a task, I know, and although I know what to avoid for the most part, I still read ingredients because the "health food" hype is a big-ass market that knows how to fool ya!
The truth is, many "health foods" are linked to heart disease, diabetes, and chronic inflammation. But hey, as long as the label says things like "plant-based," "high protein," "sugar-free" or "fortified," people keep falling for it.
This is a short list—only 7—because I could write for days about this topic and the gazillions of chemicals that lace our food. But these are the ones most people are fooled by.
The Top 7 Fake "Health" Foods You Should Ditch
1. Protein Bars – Just Candy Bars in Disguise
Marketed as fitness fuel, most protein bars are glorified candy bars loaded with sugar, artificial sweeteners (like sucralose and erythritol, which are linked to heart issues), and hydrogenated oils. Oh, and let’s not forget the glyphosate—because nothing says "healthy snack" like a side of pesticide.
But what’s worse than that is the soy protein isolates many contain. Sounds kind of good, right? But would you like to know what it really is?
"Soy protein isolate is industrial sludge!"
How It’s Made:
GMO soybeans (doused in glyphosate) are bathed in hexane—a neurotoxic petroleum solvent—to strip out fats.
The sludge is then acid-washed and alkalized to remove fiber and carbs.
Finally, it’s spray-dried into a powder, leaving a denatured, nutrient-dead protein with zero natural benefits.
Why It’s Worse Than You Think:
Phytoestrogen Overload – SPI is packed with isoflavones, which mimic estrogen and may disrupt hormones (linked to thyroid issues & reproductive problems).
Digestive Nightmare – Processing destroys natural enzymes, making it hard to digest. "Nah, that bloating, gas, and IBS flare-ups couldn’t possibly be from your 'healthy' protein bar," you say?
Nutrient Stripped – Unlike whole soy (fermented tempeh, miso), SPI has no fiber, vitamins, or minerals.
Okay, let’s move on to #2.
2. Plant-Based Burgers – Lab-Grown Frankenfood with Fake Blood
Oh, this one really gets me! These burgers are ultra-processed concoctions of GMO soy and questionable additives like methylcellulose (a laxative, by the way). But the real horror? Now they make them appear to bleed and sizzle while cooking—you know, to mimic a real meat burger.
That "meaty" bleed effect comes from lab-made "heme"—a genetically engineered iron compound created by inserting soy DNA into yeast and fermenting it in vats. It’s a damn science experiment.
Studies show these fake meats actually increase heart disease risk by 12%. But sure, keep calling them a "healthy alternative."
The Bottom Line: If you want plant-based, stick to whole foods like lentils and mushrooms. Your body doesn’t need GMO yeast blood to get proper nutrition.
3. Non-Dairy Milks – Sometimes Just Sugar Water with Chemicals
"Almond milk"? More like "thickened, sweetened, and artificially flavored water." Many brands add carrageenan (linked to gut inflammation) and fillers to make it seem creamy. If you’re going dairy-free, at least pick an organic, unsweetened version without the junk.
My pick: Almond Malk, made with 3 ingredients—organic almonds, water, and Himalayan pink salt. That’s it! I bought some last week at Publix as a BOGO, so always keep your eye out for sales if money is tight.
4. Non-Organic Soy – A Glyphosate Smoothie
94% of U.S. soy is GMO and drenched in glyphosate. If you’re eating non-organic tofu, soy milk, or edamame, you’re basically drinking Roundup. Organic or bust.
5. Packaged Bread – Basically Cake in Loaf Form
This one kind of shocked me. I knew white bread was crap, but so are most of the "healthy" versions of bread out there. Today, commercial bread is just refined flour, sugar, and preservatives—but you don’t realize it because you see words like "whole grain" and grab a bag.
Even organic breads are playing the game. Not sure where you live, but Dave’s organic bread is everywhere now, and although most ingredients are decent, your eyes will eventually land on the word: "SUGAR."
Tip: Look for sprouted breads—that’s a whole other topic I should write about!
My favorite: Food for Life Ezekiel Bread. You will find it in your freezer section, but if not, get it online.
6. Flavored Yogurt – Dessert Disguised as Breakfast
Many yogurts—especially the ones marketed to kids—have more sugar than a soda. All that probiotic goodness? Canceled out by the insulin crash. Stick to plain, full-fat, organic yogurt and add your own fruit.
7. Veggie Chips – Fried Junk with a Greenwashed Label
Don’t be fooled—these aren’t health food. And although I’ve seen some better brands, here’s the ingredient list from Whole Foods Veggie Chips:
Potato Flour, Potato Starch, Vegetable Oil (Contains One Or More Of The Following: Canola Oil, Sunflower Seed Oil, Safflower Seed Oil, Highly Refined Soybean Oil, Corn Oil), Cornstarch, Sea Salt, Cane Sugar, Tomato Powder, Spinach Powder, Beet Root Powder (Color), Turmeric Extract.
Tip: Slice your own potatoes or veggies, season, and bake! That’s it.
How to Actually Eat Healthy Without the Lies
Read labels like your health depends on it (because it does). If the ingredient list looks like a chemistry experiment, skip it.
Buy organic whenever possible—especially for soy, oats, and corn.
Eat real food—fresh produce, grass-fed meat, wild-caught fish, and whole grains. The fewer steps between the farm and your plate, the better.
The Frustrating Truth
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You try your best—buy the "healthy" stuff, read labels, maybe even skip the drive-thru more often than not. But even with all that effort, your body might still be battling a silent storm. Hidden sugars, pesticide residues, sneaky additives, and "natural" compounds pile up over time.
You may not notice it all at once, but the signs creep in feeling sluggish, having mood swings, bloating, gas and even unhealthy looking skin.
It’s so important to give your internal organs a good cleanse at least a few times a year. But detoxes can be draining on your system—even dangerous if you don’t do them properly.
So What Do You Do?
Make ingredient-reading a ninja skill.
Cut out sugars.
Move that body and sweat.
Get a good product to help.
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Much love and magic, Thea
P.S. I always prefer supporting local and small businesses - we are one ourselves. But the truth is, sometimes what you need isn't available locally. That's why I've included online options where it makes sense.
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